Unworthy, Inadequate Me?

How many of us consider ourselves unworthy for God's use, maybe due to our past failures or how we currently identify ourselves?

 Forty years have passed since Moses fled from Egypt after failing in his self motivated action of trying to deliver the Israelites from the hands of the Egyptians. Of course, that one action, failure and mistake may have altered his entire life; it's also possible to believe that as the years went by, Moses may have built up his whole existence, his identity, and the way he sees himself around those events in his past...

Until God decided to move in His own way and save His chosen people, the people of Israel out of Egypt. In order to show His glory, God decided to use Moses for this work but Moses now has many excuses.

God said to Moses, "I am sending you..." and Moses replied, "I am a nobody..." (Some versions have, "who am I?...")...

He felt inadequate and unworthy for God's use. He no longer had that courage and boldness that he had in his youth. He was no longer willing to do the same work that he was motivated by his desires and emotions to do in the past...

But thank God that when God is sending us to do His work, He is not depending on who we think we are nor is He expecting us to go on our own.

God replied, "I will be with you..." meaning that everything depends on God and nothing on us. Meaning that He does not expect us to go alone; meaning that since He is sending us, all we need to do is obey and leave the rest to Him.

As we can see, God did not necessarily address what Moses said about himself because it has nothing to do with who we think we are or aren't. Knowing God will be with us should change everything. Many times we tend to undermine God, we think we know Him but we truly don't know Him. We sometimes forget or we simply don't know what He is capable of doing. He is an all powerful God; He is also a consuming fire. He can do everything and anything that we cannot do. He does not need our strength nor power, all He requires is our obedience.

Going back to Moses shortcomings, we can see that God is still willing to use us despite our past mistakes and failures; He can turn those things around for our good and for His glory. Through his past, God humbled Moses and taught him to never depend on his own ability or strength but only in God's power. God can use our ugly past to teach us the life lesson needed in order for God's will and purpose for our lives to be truly established. God can use our past to prepare us for the work that He has for us.

Lastly, when God is sending us to do His work, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we "think" we are, our strengths nor power; but it has everything to do with who He is and what He is capable of doing. The important thing is not what we have done but rather who our God is, whose ability we are relying on and who is with us.

-Yetunde

Our Righteousness: Like Filthy Rags

Is my faith in my works or is it in Christ? Is it in God's goodness or in my own righteousness?
     
"The sorrows of those who run after other gods shall multiply..." (Psalm 16:4). When many hear the words "don't serve other gods", we automatically think about idols, money and people, but many of us are serving our works and we take joy in being good people... We worship our works in little sorrowful ways. The more we worship our works and we start believing that we are worthy or loved through them, the more restless we become and the more frustrated; and the moment we fail, the condemnation comes and our sorrow increases..
         
        Paul addressed this issue perfectly, "You foolish Galatians! Who has cast a spell on you? Before your eyes Jesus Christ was vividly portrayed as crucified!  The only thing I want to learn from you is this: Did you receive the Spirit by doing the works of the law or by believing what you heard?   Are you so foolish? Although you began with the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by human effort?   Have you suffered so many things for nothing? – if indeed it was for nothing.  Does God then give you the Spirit and work miracles among you by your doing the works of the law or by your believing what you heard?" (Galatians 3:1-5)
     
         Do not get me wrong, faith without works is dead and we've been called to work out our salvation; but the Salvation itself is free, we did nothing to earn it. The thing that happens through our faith in Christ is godly deeds, a changed heart and a changed life. Our deeds/works cannot and will never save us, we can only be saved through our faith in Christ.

       Do you want to be considered "good" or "righteous" before God? Then put your faith in Christ for you can only be justified through Him; only through your faith in Christ can you receive the righteousness of Christ. "For our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead" (Romans 4:24)

    And when it comes to working out your faith, look to Christ and learn from Him what it means to be godly. Let Him live His life of righteousness, humility, obedience, love and submission to God through you.

-Yetunde

Our Identity: Not Achieved, but Received!

This frees us from working so hard in order to gain others' approval or even God's approval (we've been approved by Him)... When we understand and know who we are in Christ, we'll start working FROM our identity and NOT FOR it. When we accept and believe in God's love for us, we'll no longer try to work FOR it but we'll walk and work IN His love; because He loves us, we should trust that He knows and wants what's best for us by obeying His word/teachings.. "God is our Father and a father does not tell his kids, 'if you do this, then I'll love you'"- Pastor Mark Driscoll... When we don't know who we are, we'll either start trying to conform into the image of what we think will make God approve of us or what will make the world accept us (The world or God: depending on who we're trying to serve)... Inevitably, we'll fail to keep up with this image which will most likely lead to condemnation, depression, feeling like a failure or feeling unworthy... Among being free in Christ, we are also chosen, God's special possession and heirs of His kingdom...

-Inspired by Pastor Mark Driscoll (James: Jesus' Bold Little Brother sermon series)

-Yetunde

Fear Is No Motivator

     Many of us are driven by fear rather than faith; when put in a situation in which we cannot see the end result, we start losing hope. We continue to put a limitation on what God can do by forgetting that God is not like man and our ways cannot be His ways. Many fail to look back to see how God has been faithful in the past so we don't have enough faith that He will do it again... There was a certain man in the bible that although he witnessed God's faithfulness, he gave in to his fear and failed to remember that God is the same yesterday, today and forevermore. Rather than having faith in God to do what He promised, he allowed his fear to motivate him into doing something that was totally against God's will for his life. That man's name is Jeroboam and he'll forever be known as the man that led Israel to sin...

     When King Solomon started building shrines for the gods of his many wives, disobeying the Lord's commandments and not following in David, his father's footsteps in integrity and uprightness of heart, the Lord declared judgement on him. God's judgement was to take 10 northern tribes out of Israel to give to Jeroboam; but based on God's promise to David and because He has decided to make Solomon king all the days of his life, this will happen only after Solomon's death (meaning that Solomon's son, Rehoboam, will be punished for his father's sins: He will be left with only one tribe to rule over:Judah/capital city: Jerusalem). (1 Kings 11:1-13)

     After God made His plans known to Jeroboam, that He would make him king over the 10 northern tribes that will be taken away from Solomon's son, God also made a promise to him: If Jeroboam would walk in the ways of the Lord and obey the Lord's commandments as David did, He will make the house of Jeroboam as David's. (1 Kings 11:26-38)
   
    Of course, when the time came, God fulfilled His promise and made Jeroboam king over the 10 northern tribes of Israel; but when the time also came for Jeroboam to trust in this same God, he failed.
   
     After God fulfilled His promise, Jeroboam became afraid that if he allow the people of Israel to go to Solomon's temple in Jerusalem to worship God, King Rehoboam(who rules over the capital city, Jerusalem) would plot with and turn the people against him. In his fear that the people will pledge their loyalty back to King Rehoboam and return to him, Jeroboam decided to set up his own system of worship for the people. He built two golden calves for the people to worship, appointed priests that were not Levites (the tribe ordained by God to be priests in Israel) and instituted a new day of festival for the people. (1Kings 12:25-33)

     In doing this, King Jeroboam led the people of Israel to sin against God and disobey God's laid down laws for worship. By acting on his fear rather than faith, this not only led to his downfall and him not receiving what was promised to him; but he also laid a terrible foundation for the kings that came after him.

     If only Jeroboam would've had enough faith that the same God that made the promise to make him king and fulfilled His promise, will also continue to protect his leadership and throne. If only he'd remembered God's faithfulness. If only he was motivated by his faith rather than fear.

     In this same way, in our fear or doubt, when many of us are put in certain situations, rather than having faith in God and seeking His face, we try to play God by doing things our own way. We sometimes fail to look to the author and finisher of our faith.

     The bible says that the righteous will live by faith (Hebrews 10:38)... Therefore let us have faith rather than fear. Let our faith in God motivate us into believing that God's plans for us are for good and not for evil and He will bring every promise to fulfillment. Let us believe that He who made the promise will not put us to shame.

     Do not let fear motivate you into being impatient or doing something that is against God's will for your life... But rather, be motivated by faith; let your faith lead you into trusting God, for fear is really no motivator.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
   
"And hope does not put us to shame. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:5)

I pray that this word will fall on a fruitful soil in our hearts and will grow to bear good fruits in Jesus name.

-Yetunde

What Shall I Do With Jesus?

I know Him, I believe in Him, I am in awe of Him and I love Him; but how does He fit into my life/world? How can I walk with Him? What should I do with Jesus?... These are questions I find myself asking these past few days. I know what to do with God, I speak to Him everyday but how can I also fellowship with Christ? Is it possible to conversate with Him like I do with God? I know that my questions may not necessarily make sense but I think I'm just hungry for more, or maybe I'm confused... I know that He is my savior and my redeemer; I believe that His blood has availed for all my trangressions. I know who He is and what He stands for; but how can I be aware of Him daily? ...

The problem was that it was impossible for me to imagine that the same Jesus that lived on earth and died would be so powerful that I can submit my whole life to Him; I kept failing to realize that He RESURRECTED. He is now all powerful and all glorious. He is also sitted at the right hand of God, crowned with glory. He reigns in victory and there is no limitation to what He can do.

"Ye believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1).

If I trust God, then I also need to trust in His Son's power and ability to live in me, to live life through me. I need to remember that He is not only my savior but also my Lord. He didn't just die for my sins but He is also risen. This Jesus, that is alive, is the one that I can have face each and everyday for me.

So maybe the question should rather be, what will Jesus do with me? For I did not choose Him but He chose me and appointed me to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last (John 15:16). I can surely say that He will do great and mighty things, He will help me bear good fruits for His kingdom, He will go through trials and temptations with me... Above all, I pray that He will show me how to let Him do all these things through me, how to let Him live through me.

And when I am too weak to look to Him/rest in Him, I will also stand with John in saying, "come, Lord Jesus, come" (Rev. 22:20)...

-Yetunde

Welcome to My Place! Please Come In...

Every time I read about the Israelites' indifference to what God represents in their lives, I would find myself getting angry, rolling my eyes and sometimes sucking my teeth at their foolishness... Why were they so disobedient, stubborn and unfaithful to God after everything He brought them through? After saving them from slavery? From destruction? From uncertainty? From shame and reproach? From hunger and thirst?... Then a few days ago, pulled out of my self righteousness, it dawned on me that He also did all these for me!... And just like the Israelites, my unfaithfulness knows no bounds. After everything that I've been through, how can I be comfortable with getting involved in the filthiness of prostitution? Trying to see how much I can get away with by selling and sharing my body with more that one man. Can I truly live with being unfaithful to the one and only bridegroom?...

I see myself worshiping other gods like pride, beauty and reputation, to name a few. I'm offering burnt offerings to my worldly desires, feeding my laziness and dealing with God when I feel like it. I notice that I've been giving sacrifices to God, hoping that would make Him overlook my disobedience and unfaithfulness to Him. I find myself sharing my heart that belongs to the one and only bridegroom with other "men". My passion/zeal no longer burn for Him as it should..

 I know that God will remain faithful even in my unfaithfulness because that's just who He is; I'm also aware that even if I'm faithful according to my own understanding, I can never pay/repay God. Most importantly, I am now aware of the fact that if I remain in Him, surrender my heart and life for His useful purpose, then I can truly experience the fullness and abundance of joy in His presence.. "Peace and joy I leave with you, my peace and joy I give you; but not as the world gives" (John 14:27, emphasis mine).. Although the world can give me joy, it will be watered down, won't be full and it definitely won't be an everlasting joy..

 Since I now understand that it's all about having a relationship with You; my heart's desire is to go back to my first love, make more time for my first love and spend more time with my first love. I don't mind going back to that stage of dating and getting to know each other all over again. I've realized that I continue to fail due to my foolishness in trying to depend on my own strength and power; although You've made it known to me many times that, "... without Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5)... So I find myself begging, "please show me how to get back to that place of intimacy", to which You replied, "I'm right where you left me"... My prayer is no longer "teach me your ways", but "help me to live in light of your ways".

I want to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and body but I need to abide in You and allow You to truly abide in me in order for that to happen.

 Because like an unwanted visitor, when I first invited You in, I didn't make you feel comfortable. Although I gave you access to certain parts, you were also restricted from many others because I was ashamed.. You only had access to the best looking room but we both know that it's really not the best per say, it's just the only one I had the chance to patch up so far.. I'm now giving you access to the ugly, embarrassing and filthy rooms. You are now truly welcome in this place. You have my permission to change, decorate and renovate my place.. And please ignore me if and when I try to give you my unwanted ideas and opinions on what the place should look like.

 So I give my heart to You all over again to chip away, to mold and shape into Yours.. Continue the work that You have started in me. Turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh; give life to every dead bone in me. Live in me and through me. Amen!

-Yetunde

Father Knows Best

A time of reflection:

About a year ago, I found myself upset about a situation that I had been going through for a while. So after getting everyone's opinion on this said situation, I went to someone that I knew would give it to me straight, and only wants for the best for me. My father. At first, I was apprehensive about discussing this issue with my father because I was scared of what he would say, but from the very beginning, he gave me sound advice. Advice that only a daughter would appreciate and take heed to. One part that was stuck out to me during this conversation was the following: 

"When you make a decision, you live and die with that decision.You see [Yejide] life is never straight, it's full of ups and downs, and humps in the road. It's up to you to get through those times and continue to persevere. Remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."- My Father

Now at that said time, that part stuck out to me because of what we were discussing, but a year later I still remember this part of our conversation. Not because the issue or situation still exists, but because it pertains to life in general. My life, your life, and everyone we may encounter life.

As my father's child, he knows that something I struggle with on a daily basis, is being able to make a concrete decision and sticking to that decision. I'm a Plan A, B, C and D person, and I heavily weigh my options. Most times, this is good, but most times it is also bad. My issue of decision making has always been something that has bothered me, and I have recognized and accepted that it needs to change.

I'm starting to realize that the older I grow and the wiser I become, things that my parents have told me in the past, whether that past was last week or previous months or years, always resurface. But I don't think it's human nature that causes this to happen. Its an higher power, my Father in heaven, that knows when the time will be right, when we will need to remember those words. So a conversation I had with my father a year has now resurfaced at full force. The last part of what my father said, ["........remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."], is what's replaying in my mind a whole year later.

When I want to make a decision, I'm so concerned about the alternate plans instead of making the decision and asking the Lord to guide my steps with that decision. Also at times, more often than I like, I find myself asking family, friends, mentors, etc., for their input on what my decision should be, when it clearly states in His book, that I should "trust in The Lord with all thy heart and lean not on my understanding. In all ways I should acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight!" (Proverbs 3:5-6). It doesn't say lean on your understanding or everyone else's understanding, but lean on His understanding. Once we do that our paths would be led straight, but if we don't trust in Him and lean on our understanding or the understanding of others, our paths tend to be crooked, until we give the situation back to The Lord. 

I know this may be difficult because I've been there a time or two, but I've also been in situations where I put my trust in The Lord, and I've come out unbroken, unscathed and at peace. I'm here to tell you His way is so much better. Trust in Him, lean on His understanding, seek Him and sit back and watch your crooked paths become straight.

Peace and Blessings,

-Yejide