I know Him, I believe in Him, I am in awe of Him and I love Him; but how does He fit into my life/world? How can I walk with Him? What should I do with Jesus?... These are questions I find myself asking these past few days. I know what to do with God, I speak to Him everyday but how can I also fellowship with Christ? Is it possible to conversate with Him like I do with God? I know that my questions may not necessarily make sense but I think I'm just hungry for more, or maybe I'm confused... I know that He is my savior and my redeemer; I believe that His blood has availed for all my trangressions. I know who He is and what He stands for; but how can I be aware of Him daily? ...
The problem was that it was impossible for me to imagine that the same Jesus that lived on earth and died would be so powerful that I can submit my whole life to Him; I kept failing to realize that He RESURRECTED. He is now all powerful and all glorious. He is also sitted at the right hand of God, crowned with glory. He reigns in victory and there is no limitation to what He can do.
"Ye believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1).
If I trust God, then I also need to trust in His Son's power and ability to live in me, to live life through me. I need to remember that He is not only my savior but also my Lord. He didn't just die for my sins but He is also risen. This Jesus, that is alive, is the one that I can have face each and everyday for me.
So maybe the question should rather be, what will Jesus do with me? For I did not choose Him but He chose me and appointed me to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last (John 15:16). I can surely say that He will do great and mighty things, He will help me bear good fruits for His kingdom, He will go through trials and temptations with me... Above all, I pray that He will show me how to let Him do all these things through me, how to let Him live through me.
And when I am too weak to look to Him/rest in Him, I will also stand with John in saying, "come, Lord Jesus, come" (Rev. 22:20)...
-Yetunde
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Welcome to My Place! Please Come In...
Every time I read about the Israelites' indifference to what God represents in their lives, I would find myself getting angry, rolling my eyes and sometimes sucking my teeth at their foolishness... Why were they so disobedient, stubborn and unfaithful to God after everything He brought them through? After saving them from slavery? From destruction? From uncertainty? From shame and reproach? From hunger and thirst?... Then a few days ago, pulled out of my self righteousness, it dawned on me that He also did all these for me!... And just like the Israelites, my unfaithfulness knows no bounds. After everything that I've been through, how can I be comfortable with getting involved in the filthiness of prostitution? Trying to see how much I can get away with by selling and sharing my body with more that one man. Can I truly live with being unfaithful to the one and only bridegroom?...
I see myself worshiping other gods like pride, beauty and reputation, to name a few. I'm offering burnt offerings to my worldly desires, feeding my laziness and dealing with God when I feel like it. I notice that I've been giving sacrifices to God, hoping that would make Him overlook my disobedience and unfaithfulness to Him. I find myself sharing my heart that belongs to the one and only bridegroom with other "men". My passion/zeal no longer burn for Him as it should..
I know that God will remain faithful even in my unfaithfulness because that's just who He is; I'm also aware that even if I'm faithful according to my own understanding, I can never pay/repay God. Most importantly, I am now aware of the fact that if I remain in Him, surrender my heart and life for His useful purpose, then I can truly experience the fullness and abundance of joy in His presence.. "Peace and joy I leave with you, my peace and joy I give you; but not as the world gives" (John 14:27, emphasis mine).. Although the world can give me joy, it will be watered down, won't be full and it definitely won't be an everlasting joy..
Since I now understand that it's all about having a relationship with You; my heart's desire is to go back to my first love, make more time for my first love and spend more time with my first love. I don't mind going back to that stage of dating and getting to know each other all over again. I've realized that I continue to fail due to my foolishness in trying to depend on my own strength and power; although You've made it known to me many times that, "... without Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5)... So I find myself begging, "please show me how to get back to that place of intimacy", to which You replied, "I'm right where you left me"... My prayer is no longer "teach me your ways", but "help me to live in light of your ways".
I want to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and body but I need to abide in You and allow You to truly abide in me in order for that to happen.
Because like an unwanted visitor, when I first invited You in, I didn't make you feel comfortable. Although I gave you access to certain parts, you were also restricted from many others because I was ashamed.. You only had access to the best looking room but we both know that it's really not the best per say, it's just the only one I had the chance to patch up so far.. I'm now giving you access to the ugly, embarrassing and filthy rooms. You are now truly welcome in this place. You have my permission to change, decorate and renovate my place.. And please ignore me if and when I try to give you my unwanted ideas and opinions on what the place should look like.
So I give my heart to You all over again to chip away, to mold and shape into Yours.. Continue the work that You have started in me. Turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh; give life to every dead bone in me. Live in me and through me. Amen!
-Yetunde
I see myself worshiping other gods like pride, beauty and reputation, to name a few. I'm offering burnt offerings to my worldly desires, feeding my laziness and dealing with God when I feel like it. I notice that I've been giving sacrifices to God, hoping that would make Him overlook my disobedience and unfaithfulness to Him. I find myself sharing my heart that belongs to the one and only bridegroom with other "men". My passion/zeal no longer burn for Him as it should..
I know that God will remain faithful even in my unfaithfulness because that's just who He is; I'm also aware that even if I'm faithful according to my own understanding, I can never pay/repay God. Most importantly, I am now aware of the fact that if I remain in Him, surrender my heart and life for His useful purpose, then I can truly experience the fullness and abundance of joy in His presence.. "Peace and joy I leave with you, my peace and joy I give you; but not as the world gives" (John 14:27, emphasis mine).. Although the world can give me joy, it will be watered down, won't be full and it definitely won't be an everlasting joy..
Since I now understand that it's all about having a relationship with You; my heart's desire is to go back to my first love, make more time for my first love and spend more time with my first love. I don't mind going back to that stage of dating and getting to know each other all over again. I've realized that I continue to fail due to my foolishness in trying to depend on my own strength and power; although You've made it known to me many times that, "... without Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5)... So I find myself begging, "please show me how to get back to that place of intimacy", to which You replied, "I'm right where you left me"... My prayer is no longer "teach me your ways", but "help me to live in light of your ways".
I want to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and body but I need to abide in You and allow You to truly abide in me in order for that to happen.
Because like an unwanted visitor, when I first invited You in, I didn't make you feel comfortable. Although I gave you access to certain parts, you were also restricted from many others because I was ashamed.. You only had access to the best looking room but we both know that it's really not the best per say, it's just the only one I had the chance to patch up so far.. I'm now giving you access to the ugly, embarrassing and filthy rooms. You are now truly welcome in this place. You have my permission to change, decorate and renovate my place.. And please ignore me if and when I try to give you my unwanted ideas and opinions on what the place should look like.
So I give my heart to You all over again to chip away, to mold and shape into Yours.. Continue the work that You have started in me. Turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh; give life to every dead bone in me. Live in me and through me. Amen!
-Yetunde
Monday, December 2, 2013
Father Knows Best
A time of reflection:
"When you make a decision, you live and die with that decision.You see [Yejide] life is never straight, it's full of ups and downs, and humps in the road. It's up to you to get through those times and continue to persevere. Remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."- My Father
Now at that said time, that part stuck out to me because of what we were discussing, but a year later I still remember this part of our conversation. Not because the issue or situation still exists, but because it pertains to life in general. My life, your life, and everyone we may encounter life.
As my father's child, he knows that something I struggle with on a daily basis, is being able to make a concrete decision and sticking to that decision. I'm a Plan A, B, C and D person, and I heavily weigh my options. Most times, this is good, but most times it is also bad. My issue of decision making has always been something that has bothered me, and I have recognized and accepted that it needs to change.
I'm starting to realize that the older I grow and the wiser I become, things that my parents have told me in the past, whether that past was last week or previous months or years, always resurface. But I don't think it's human nature that causes this to happen. Its an higher power, my Father in heaven, that knows when the time will be right, when we will need to remember those words. So a conversation I had with my father a year has now resurfaced at full force. The last part of what my father said, ["........remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."], is what's replaying in my mind a whole year later.
When I want to make a decision, I'm so concerned about the alternate plans instead of making the decision and asking the Lord to guide my steps with that decision. Also at times, more often than I like, I find myself asking family, friends, mentors, etc., for their input on what my decision should be, when it clearly states in His book, that I should "trust in The Lord with all thy heart and lean not on my understanding. In all ways I should acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight!" (Proverbs 3:5-6). It doesn't say lean on your understanding or everyone else's understanding, but lean on His understanding. Once we do that our paths would be led straight, but if we don't trust in Him and lean on our understanding or the understanding of others, our paths tend to be crooked, until we give the situation back to The Lord.
About a year ago, I found myself upset about a situation that I had been going through for a while. So after getting everyone's opinion on this said situation, I went to someone that I knew would give it to me straight, and only wants for the best for me. My father. At first, I was apprehensive about discussing this issue with my father because I was scared of what he would say, but from the very beginning, he gave me sound advice. Advice that only a daughter would appreciate and take heed to. One part that was stuck out to me during this conversation was the following:
"When you make a decision, you live and die with that decision.You see [Yejide] life is never straight, it's full of ups and downs, and humps in the road. It's up to you to get through those times and continue to persevere. Remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."- My Father
Now at that said time, that part stuck out to me because of what we were discussing, but a year later I still remember this part of our conversation. Not because the issue or situation still exists, but because it pertains to life in general. My life, your life, and everyone we may encounter life.
As my father's child, he knows that something I struggle with on a daily basis, is being able to make a concrete decision and sticking to that decision. I'm a Plan A, B, C and D person, and I heavily weigh my options. Most times, this is good, but most times it is also bad. My issue of decision making has always been something that has bothered me, and I have recognized and accepted that it needs to change.
I'm starting to realize that the older I grow and the wiser I become, things that my parents have told me in the past, whether that past was last week or previous months or years, always resurface. But I don't think it's human nature that causes this to happen. Its an higher power, my Father in heaven, that knows when the time will be right, when we will need to remember those words. So a conversation I had with my father a year has now resurfaced at full force. The last part of what my father said, ["........remain prayerful and ask the Lord to lead you on the right path."], is what's replaying in my mind a whole year later.
When I want to make a decision, I'm so concerned about the alternate plans instead of making the decision and asking the Lord to guide my steps with that decision. Also at times, more often than I like, I find myself asking family, friends, mentors, etc., for their input on what my decision should be, when it clearly states in His book, that I should "trust in The Lord with all thy heart and lean not on my understanding. In all ways I should acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight!" (Proverbs 3:5-6). It doesn't say lean on your understanding or everyone else's understanding, but lean on His understanding. Once we do that our paths would be led straight, but if we don't trust in Him and lean on our understanding or the understanding of others, our paths tend to be crooked, until we give the situation back to The Lord.
I know this may be difficult because I've been there a time or two, but I've also been in situations where I put my trust in The Lord, and I've come out unbroken, unscathed and at peace. I'm here to tell you His way is so much better. Trust in Him, lean on His understanding, seek Him and sit back and watch your crooked paths become straight.
Peace and Blessings,
-Yejide
Thursday, April 26, 2012
My Untold Story
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”-Maya Angelou
For those that may know me, you would know that Maya Angelou is my favorite poet and author, and has been an inspiration to my life. For those that don't know me, now you know. I often find myself going onto Google and searching for "Maya Angelou quotes", and on one particular day, while perusing through the search results, I came across the above mentioned quote. It jumped out to me because 1. This was a quote that I never came across before and 2. I believe the Lord has been tugging at my heart to tell me that I need to tell my story. I'm a firm believer that the Lord doesn't give you what you can't handle and when we put our trust in Him and understand there's a reason for it all, there is nothing we can not overcome.
Well the Lord has given me the grace to overcome many trials and tribulations in the 25 years of my life. So in upcoming posts I will surely tell my story. Personally, I am a little scared because besides immediate family and a close friends, many people don't know my story. In the past most people just saw me as the angry girl or the girl that was never happy or never smiled. But they don't know that behind that girl with the tough exterior laid a girl that at one point had low self esteem, a girl that was stripped of her innocence at a young age, a girl that found it hard to trust every and anyone, a girl that at most times, felt she was alone with no one to talk to. But instead of taking time out to get to know me, they did what most people would do; they judged and assumed. Because on the outside, they saw a girl that had nothing to be upset about. She had family and friends that loved and adored her, she never wanted for anything, and she was highly blessed. Little did they know that that girl was fighting an internal battle. Fighting to be happy, fighting to grasp the true meaning of being blessed, and just fighting to let go of the past that has scorned her so much.
But by His grace and constant tugging, that girl who later blossomed into a beautiful woman has finally stopped fighting. It took for me to realize that the battle was not mine to fight, but the Lord's. I surrendered my hurt and pain from the past to the Lord, and took it for what it was, my PAST. Now I only look to the future, and know whatever may come my way, there is a reason for it and a lesson to be learned from it.
One lesson that I learned from my years of being angry that I will like to share with everyone is,
Well the Lord has given me the grace to overcome many trials and tribulations in the 25 years of my life. So in upcoming posts I will surely tell my story. Personally, I am a little scared because besides immediate family and a close friends, many people don't know my story. In the past most people just saw me as the angry girl or the girl that was never happy or never smiled. But they don't know that behind that girl with the tough exterior laid a girl that at one point had low self esteem, a girl that was stripped of her innocence at a young age, a girl that found it hard to trust every and anyone, a girl that at most times, felt she was alone with no one to talk to. But instead of taking time out to get to know me, they did what most people would do; they judged and assumed. Because on the outside, they saw a girl that had nothing to be upset about. She had family and friends that loved and adored her, she never wanted for anything, and she was highly blessed. Little did they know that that girl was fighting an internal battle. Fighting to be happy, fighting to grasp the true meaning of being blessed, and just fighting to let go of the past that has scorned her so much.
But by His grace and constant tugging, that girl who later blossomed into a beautiful woman has finally stopped fighting. It took for me to realize that the battle was not mine to fight, but the Lord's. I surrendered my hurt and pain from the past to the Lord, and took it for what it was, my PAST. Now I only look to the future, and know whatever may come my way, there is a reason for it and a lesson to be learned from it.
One lesson that I learned from my years of being angry that I will like to share with everyone is,
When you continue to dwell on the past and your pain, you miss out on opportunities and blessings that are in front of you.
It took years for me to realize everything I missed out on. Take my experience and use it as a reminder of what not to do.
Peace and Blessings,
Yejide
Thursday, April 12, 2012
the place of SOLACE
Defined in Webster's Dictionary, the word Solace means:
comfort or consolation in time of distress or sadness.
Some may wonder why I named my blog, "the place of SOLACE", and its only because I believe writing out my thoughts brings ME comfort.
Every single day, millions of thoughts and questions run through the mind of every individual, and most times, those thoughts are ignored and the questions go unanswered. So another thought came to me that maybe writing out my thoughts and questions, may be able to touch someone else, may encourage someone else to write out their thoughts, or maybe I'll finally get answers to the endless questions......
Love and Peace,
Yejide
Every single day, millions of thoughts and questions run through the mind of every individual, and most times, those thoughts are ignored and the questions go unanswered. So another thought came to me that maybe writing out my thoughts and questions, may be able to touch someone else, may encourage someone else to write out their thoughts, or maybe I'll finally get answers to the endless questions......
Love and Peace,
Yejide
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Hope and a Future....
This bible scripture is the best way to start my blog. The last part in the scripture which states, ".... plans to give you hope and a future" has spoken volumes to me. Times when I have lost hope and faith, I would recite this verse in my head, and like magic, I would be renewed and rejuvenated....
And so the story goes, I originally started this blog in October 2010 but never posted anything. It was at a time when I felt hopeless, but still wanted to better myself, to grow, and to leave my mark on the world. But I got as far as setting up my account and creating the name of the blog and signing out. Over the course of a year, I would often come back to stare at the blank page but would get scared of what to write, and would think my blog wouldn't be good enough. But today the Spirit whispered to me and said, "It's time." So my journey begins......
I want my blog to inspire and encourage, not only my readers but myself. I'm looking forward to my growth.. <3
Yejide
Alpha: the beginning.
There's a saying that if you start anything rooted in Christ, it will not tarnish or disassemble. So this is the beginning for me. My Alpha.I pray that the Lord continues to shine His light on me, this blog and the many readers that will grace this blog!. Amen
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